I got the inspiration for this post from watching yet another episode of VH1's "Love and Hip Hop" with Chrissy and Jim Jones. She's frustrated that he won't make that next step and he can't understand what's the big deal. I can totally sympathize with her because I have been in an "on and off relationship" for the past 7 years wondering why we progressed so little. Why is he taking so long to grow up and be a man when I've given so much? Why can't he take that next step and go further. "So.. I break for you, but you can't even bend for me?" - @KekePalmer But on the other hand, I can cosign with Jimmy. Why buy the cow if I'm already getting the milk for free? Why marry you if you're already doing wifely duties? You live with me, cook and clean too. Everything a wife already does without the ring and possible headache a man gains when he makes you his wife.
To flip it back to Chrissy, she's been with him for 7 years and has invested time and money not only in him but on his deals and things he endorses in. On this last episode she basically designed his entire clothing clothing line. So if they were to break up she would get nothing, not even a percentage of the profits from this line or any of the other things she helped him build. But at the same time giving a man an ultimatum never really solves anything either. It is a compromise where no one is truly happy with the end result. Telling him, "Marry me or ELSE!" will give you three outcomes with ALL of them leaving you stressed and/or heartbroken in the end. 1. He decides to marry you or what happens most of the times, he proposes (to shut you up) but never sets a date and then before you know it you're engaged for another 7 years. 2. Or if he's a sucker who buckles under pressure, he will propose, set the date and marry you but in the back of his mind he will always think that this is the biggest mistake that he's ever made in his life. He's never really faithful and continues to do him regardless of the title, ring and marriage certificate. 3. He goes with the "or ELSE!" and leaves you. You then cry for weeks and threaten to burn his house down.
There is this poet, (who you should all check out) Dana Gilmore, who has a poem called "Wife, Woman, Friend." ( http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_aSPYcjspgk ) She talks about how women never want to stay in their place and play the role that they auditioned for. The friend always wants to be the girlfriend. The girlfriend is always gunning for the role of the wife. And the wife... well she wants to act like his mother. Sometimes you just have to play your role correctly and maybe he'll realize that the cow is worth much more than he thinks it is.
Now, I don't want to tell you to be complacent with a man who doesn't see you for your true potential but don't put yourself in these situations where you're doing more than what you've signed up for. Play your role and try not to step out of it. A wife should be his friend but don't try to be his live-in girlfriend if you are just his friend. And don't try to star as the wife if you're just his girlfriend. You'll end up giving up too much milk, for free at that, and he'll NEVER need to give you a valid enough reason to ever purchase the cow when he's getting it all for $free.99.
Love does not begin and end the way we seem to think it does. Love is a battle, love is a war; love is a growing up.
James A. Baldwin
To flip it back to Chrissy, she's been with him for 7 years and has invested time and money not only in him but on his deals and things he endorses in. On this last episode she basically designed his entire clothing clothing line. So if they were to break up she would get nothing, not even a percentage of the profits from this line or any of the other things she helped him build. But at the same time giving a man an ultimatum never really solves anything either. It is a compromise where no one is truly happy with the end result. Telling him, "Marry me or ELSE!" will give you three outcomes with ALL of them leaving you stressed and/or heartbroken in the end. 1. He decides to marry you or what happens most of the times, he proposes (to shut you up) but never sets a date and then before you know it you're engaged for another 7 years. 2. Or if he's a sucker who buckles under pressure, he will propose, set the date and marry you but in the back of his mind he will always think that this is the biggest mistake that he's ever made in his life. He's never really faithful and continues to do him regardless of the title, ring and marriage certificate. 3. He goes with the "or ELSE!" and leaves you. You then cry for weeks and threaten to burn his house down.
There is this poet, (who you should all check out) Dana Gilmore, who has a poem called "Wife, Woman, Friend." ( http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_aSPYcjspgk ) She talks about how women never want to stay in their place and play the role that they auditioned for. The friend always wants to be the girlfriend. The girlfriend is always gunning for the role of the wife. And the wife... well she wants to act like his mother. Sometimes you just have to play your role correctly and maybe he'll realize that the cow is worth much more than he thinks it is.
Now, I don't want to tell you to be complacent with a man who doesn't see you for your true potential but don't put yourself in these situations where you're doing more than what you've signed up for. Play your role and try not to step out of it. A wife should be his friend but don't try to be his live-in girlfriend if you are just his friend. And don't try to star as the wife if you're just his girlfriend. You'll end up giving up too much milk, for free at that, and he'll NEVER need to give you a valid enough reason to ever purchase the cow when he's getting it all for $free.99.
Love does not begin and end the way we seem to think it does. Love is a battle, love is a war; love is a growing up.
James A. Baldwin
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